Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Grade: A

Screenwriter Charlie Kaufman has finally found his complete voice.

Some would argue that voice was already discovered in two of his prior works, “Being John Malcovich” and “Adaptation.” While both brilliantly quirky, unique, and fascinating, personally I also found them rather cold, sterile, intellectual and utterly lacking in a convincing third act. The former descended into slapstick madness, the latter into a pretentious journey into the writer’s own self-importance. Here, however, Kaufman has also found his sense of humanity. While no less brilliant in its conceit, style and execution, “Eternal Sunshine” is also extraordinarily heartfelt and moving.

An affectionate couple cozily walks down a NYC street, chatting amiably before a sore subject abruptly arises, quickly decaying the conversation into a bicker match, hostilities rising, old wounds salted, nastiness percolating to a full boil and an embarrassing street altercation.

No, wait, that’s me and my partner on a standard Saturday afternoon.

Three minutes later, we’re in a store cozily shopping for bedroom furniture. This is not to say we won’t find something else to argue about in another ten minutes.

Relationships. Falling in love, enjoying one another’s company, endearing quirks becoming annoying habits, driving each other crazy, pushing buttons, not pushing buttons. A chemistry unique to only two people, something no one else can replicate. Building memories, rewriting memories, clinging to memories, erasing memories. It is the stuff of everyone’s unconscious daily life, and Kaufman stretches, twists, pushes and manipulates the envelope beyond reality while never straying from universal truths and genuine emotion.

A couple in turmoil literally has their memories of one another erased in reactive bits of pique, which becomes a nightmarish battle to fight a scientific procedure and reverse the process once it has already begun. We flash backward and forward in time, watch memories disintegrate before our eyes, find hidden pockets in the mind to hide, and share the misery of attempting to open one’s eyes while stuck in a nightmare we’re fully aware we’re in the midst of. The eternal question, “If I knew then what I know now” takes on vibrant and poetic meaning in the mesmerizing mind of Charlie Kaufman.

Jim Carrey joins Robin Williams as one of those rare actors whose comedy I personally find less than funny and occasionally even excruciating, but whose dramatic talents I find warm, rich, and often quite moving. A strong supporting cast, led by the very fine Kate Winslet, manage to play it completely straight amidst all the kookiness, and the film becomes increasingly thoughtful, touching, and resonant as all the disparate pieces begin falling into place.

More Movie Info: http://imdb.com/title/tt0338013/

Hidalgo

Grade: C-

I had considered writing lyrics to the tune of “Mr. Ed,” but I think I’ll spare you.

On second thought, what the hell. Everybody Sing!

Hidalgo’s not Viggo, of course, of course.
Surprise! It’s the name of hunk Mortenson’s HORSE!
As mystical as, say, King Aragorn’s horse,
The steed is named Hidalgo!

No emails, please. I never claimed to be songwriter.

In this overly long, parched as the desert, old-fashioned action epic wannabee, cowboy Viggo takes the legendary (who knew?) mustang to the famed Arabian desert horseraces of the 1800’s (who knew?) to prove his horse’s merit as the greatest long distance horse the world has even known.

Who cares?

This surprisingly dull “Indiana Jones” ripoff even has the evil Bedouin marauder whipping his curved sword in dramatically threatening arcs before our hero kills him from 10 feet away. Sound familiar? There’s the veiled yet strong-willed princess who is revealed to be a striking possible love interest, the meannie frontrunner replete with hawk perched on the shoulder, the orphaned child our cowboy takes under his wing, the gap- toothed sheikh who secretly loves old fashioned western comic books. And, in the center of it all is a horse that makes Seabiscuit look like your basic slummer. Magical stamina and impressive intelligence, this horse gallops through heat, sun and sandstorms, enthralls onlookers and inspires his owner, usually without water, rest, speared through the chest and with a bloody nose. He’s faster than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. It’s a bird, it’s a plane. It’s a horse. It’s not so much dreadful as it is “been there, done that better.” And when the piece tries to get all spiritual and American Indians start materializing out of the desert vapor, well, let’s face it, the appeal quickly becomes limited to:

-Parents with children and few options.
-LOTR fanatics who feel an obligation to support the cast in all future endeavors (guilty as charged).
-People with horse fetishes.

And, there really needs to be a law setting an accuracy threshold before films attach a “based on a true story” moniker. I’m thinking this one starts making in up as it goes along somewhere after the name of the horse and his owner.

More Movie Info: http://imdb.com/title/tt0317648/